Mother's Day Weekend

This Weekend
This weekend was hard; way harder than I thought it would be. I actually thought I would be completely fine. I have both children with which to celebrate the holiday as well as my own mother and mother-in-law to send greetings.

But my decent began when I wrote a Mother’s Day card to my sister.

You see, this is her first Mother’s Day and I was so excited to buy her a card and remember what all my firsts were like. I remembered my first Mother’s Day and how I realized on that first Mother’s Day that I was finally an adult involved in a real life. I was not just a student playing house with my new husband. I wasn’t a newlywed or new at life or new in my career – I was an official somebody.

I had become a mom.

I wrote all of my thoughts to my sister with excitement for her and joyous reminiscing for myself for many moments until it hit me…

The source of all my hopes - my confidence in my new role as a parent and my newly realized maturity -was gone.

My son is gone.

It’s like I actually forgot it for a moment.

So, that was Thursday and it’s been a downward spiral every since.

Hope

Once again I have been reading from the One Year Book of Hope and I was directed to read an excerpt from Psalm 91 and consider how the Lord is sovereign in my life. Specifically, I was asked to consider what I think about the phrase “[The Lord] is my refuge” in light of my current circumstances.

I had already been thinking about this topic weeks ago because of a Psalm that I had memorized years ago. Psalm 103 says, “You redeemed my life from the pit and crowned me with love and compassion.”

Needless to say, I haven’t felt very redeemed or safe from the perils of life recently.

But then I heard the details of some stories of families who went through the loss of a child and they had no hope or faith in the salvation of Jesus Christ.

As much as thirty years later these families were still lost in their grief.

They could barely function with the constant thoughts that their child was no more. They believed that their child simply ceased to exist and that their child’s short life was a waste because it had no time to affect another. Somewhere along their paths of grief they became lost in alcoholism, drug addiction, affairs, divorce and even abandoning the children that remained in their homes.

It was then that I realized that the lives they had been living were the “pit” that scripture referred to. They are hopelessly lost - both in this life and the next.

I praise God that I have a promise of not only seeing Nick again, but living an eternity with him. As difficult and painful as this is now, how could I hope to survive if I did not know of the redemption of Christ?

Housekeeping and Psalm 91

So, I read the Psalm as requested and I was truly blessed. Feel free to click over on the link that says “Scripture to heal” and have a look at what I learned.

Also, I jumped on this blog and cleaned it up for you all (I figured it was a better thing to do than just sitting listening to the rain and crying all day - which is what I had planned to do for this Mother’s Day!)

Please, bless me by visiting the links I added to the side and adding any thoughts you feel led to include. (No matter how you send your thoughts – email to me or as a comment – I’ll clean it up and make sure it posts “nice” for everyone else to see!)

Thanks for visiting again today.
Andi - andimorici@yahoo.com